WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?

Gen 4.6 "The Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen?"

We do not examine our hearts well enough. Have you really asked yourself this question? Well, I have.

When I first did, I was amazed at the answer I received. I was not willing to face-up to the reality of my source of anger or depression(fallen countenance).

I give you an examples.

My wife and I got to start a huge project or so I would like to believe (though it was really her project and not mine). We went everywhere talking about it and gradually everyone knew it was really her project and not mine.

Gradually she started getting more attention than I did because of the nobility of the project. Then whenever she narrated how it all started, she would say "I" rather than "we" not meaning to separate us but give the sequence of the narrative just like it occurred. You see, the truth was, she was the primary driver of the project and not me. I kind of felt left out and hoping she would just mention my role at least. You see it is difficult for people to truly admit especially to themselves the source of their anger.

I started wishing she would mention me more as she made progress in the project and she didn't then I started getting upset every time she told the story. And then it became annoying and my countenance would fall.

Now the question came to me.

Daniel, why are you angry?

You want to know the honest to God truth? I was jealous of my wife.

I wanted to be seen as the power behind the success but I wasn't. If only she had done that maybe that would massage my ego and compensate for my jealousy.

A lot of men are angry at home and at work because they are jealous and insecure in themselves or in their relationships.

Sometimes you look at another lady(for the ladies), and you are angry because people admire her because of her beauty and you despise her for that reason.

That happens because some are accepted because of certain gifts or traits that you think you lack. So you feel small or insecure in relation to them.

This was Cain's case. He felt that God accepted Abel over him and that annoyed him.

In the story of my wife and I. Our friends and mentors celebrated her project above mine because it touched a more fundamental need than mine and that annoyed me.

You see this happens all the time. Sometimes someone says something and we feel small or insulted.

Insecurity is at the heart of our getting angry. You think someone is trying to take advantage of you or belittling you.

Most of us are not secure in our relationships with God, ourselves, our spouses, our employers and our other relationships. So whenever we think what we have is threatened, we fight and it results in anger or our countenance falling.

James 4.1-4 describes it best.

What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. 3You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4 You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

In conclusion, why really are we angry?

We are angry because we are Jealous(which can be a good or a bad thing) and we are selfish and self seeking.
Godliness and contentment are some of my recommended biblical solutions to becoming truly secure and free of offense or anger.

We need to always know the true state of our hearts and be willing to be honest with ourselves.

Blessings.